Villefranche Sur Mer

That day I had taken the train from Nice to Monaco just to inspect the beaches. I

stepped off the train and on to the cleanest train platform in all of Europe, only to,

minutes later, step back on the a train going the opposite direction. Running parallel

along the sparkling Mediterranean, the train slowed to a stop. A giant cruise ship

had anchored off shore and dozens of sailboats surrounded the vessel. It resembled

a motionless school of fish.

The beach wasn’t a perfect white, like I had imagined, but rather more like

gold. The sand was pebble, and the water was surprisingly cool in contrast to the

nearly 40° heat. The beach was lined with people, locals and tourists, both equally

enjoying the perfect situation that was, and is, Villefranche Sur Mer.

I’ve never had a near death experience before and accordingly I had never

had a near God experience either until that day I came to Villefranche Sur Mer.

My mother was the every-Sunday-churchgoer whereas my father was raised

in a Catholic orphanage and was thus an atheist. I was raised at the center of faith

and disbelief and was never pressured to choose one way over an other. When I was

very young my mother would take me to mass and I would sit beside her on the

pew, holding her hand tightly. Mostly I would grow tiresome and bored—as any

child of that age would. The boredom was tolerable, but the volume of the organ was

not. Whenever the congregation would break into a hymn and the organ would

sound I would begin to cry, cupping my ears in pain.

I was never forced to attend church and had always been given the option to

stay home with my father. As I grew older, more and more I chose to stay home,

watching football or NASCAR races—which I have since grown tired of. My father

never tried to convince me one way or the other, but he did make his views

known. “When I die, my soul can end up in the back of some garage in New Jersey

for all I care,” he would say half jokingly. Sometimes I would wonder what that

would actually be like for him, and regret not attending mass that day with my

mother.

There’s an old saying that states that the Mediterranean cures illness. Before

I arrived in Villefranche Sur Mer I was sick. I had come from Basel, Switzerland via

Milan on the shittiest Italian train. My seat had been between an overweight and

tall, smelly Italian man that didn’t speak a lick of English—at least he didn’t make it

know that he did—and chubby old woman with the worst looking toenails I’ve ever

seen. The majority of the trip I found myself awaiting my first sight the

Mediterranean and staring blankly at the French woman’s repulsive feet. The train

was full of sleazy Italian assholes with knockoff designer sunglasses and their hair

slicked back. Being that my compartment lacked any sign of even mildly attractive

woman, the aforementioned sleazebags passed by relatively quickly.

After a brief run-in with a gaggle of Brazilian girls in a shady hostel in Rome I

fell ill. I found it hard to breathe as well as talk, making travel nearly impossible. I

retreated back to Franconia and the to the only people I knew within a thousand

miles. There I was greeted with open arms, a room to myself and all the sauerkraut
and sausage I could stomach. After a few days of recuperation I left for a wet and

rainy Switzerland. With the rain also came very little will to do anything. I hated

Basel and I hated life in Basel. I had gone from a place that felt like home and from

people that felt like family to one of the lowest points in my life.

I did very little in Basel. I completely stopped writing in my journal and spent

the majority of my time in my bunk. The highlight of the city came in the comfort of

the alien pizzeria I ate in each day and night and the cab ride to the train station on

the day I left Switzerland. I had even been given a free transportation card for the

entire city but never once used it. I spent money on nothing besides pizza and my

hostel and left Switzerland with an abundance of unspent Francs.

Upon my arrival to the sea I didn’t feel instantly cured of my deeply

depressed state, but rather felt worse when I exited the train and found myself in

France for the first time. I had booked my accommodations, a dirty two star hotel

with dorm residences, close to the train station on the grounds that I didn’t plan on

sticking around Nice much but rather branching out to Monaco, where hostels were

nonexistent. I arrived in Nice around dusk and walked the three or four blocks from

the train station to my hotel. I quickly became aware that my hotel was located in

Nice’s small, but existent red light district. On each side of the hotel and directly

across the street were sex shops. I checked in and stashed my belongings under the

flimsy bunk bed and decided to venture into the sex shop across the street. The man,

dirty with brown hair stayed behind the counter and watched a small television on

which a naked man with a Bert Reynolds style moustache nailed a partially naked

woman in the ass repeatedly. After a quick peruse of the videos, of which the

majority contained subpar looking women from the 80s and men with an

abundance of testosterone and chest hair, I knew I needed something to drink.

I found a small minimart—again adjacent to a sex shop—and quickly

snatched up a couple of liter bottles of an unfamiliar brand of Dutch beer and a bag

of “fromage” snacks that were undoubtedly French Cheetos. I went back to the

room, of which I shared with five other travelers, and pulled out my journal with the

intent of writing. After staring at the blank page, fantasizing about writing some

gonzo travel log of my debauchery abroad, the girls I didn’t sleep with and the drugs

I didn’t take, I began eagerly drinking the stout beer. After I had emptied both

bottles of beer, which I only discovered after were of an extra high alcohol content, I

felt a strong and very evident buzz and found my bed to be extremely welcoming.

I awoke before sunrise to find my journal and the empty bottles of beer right

on the table where I left them. Rolling over I noticed that two of my fellow

roommates, rough, but attractive Aussies, dressing in the corner next to the air

conditioner, one being in the process of latching her bra. I closed my eyes and

pretended to be asleep until they left. I grabbed a cup of horrible coffee from the so-

called “breakfast” downstairs and, with towel and an unopened bottle sunscreen in

hand I made my way to the train station.

I remember passing Villefranche Sur Mer, seeing the mass of sailboats and

beachgoers, and feeling somewhat better—somewhat alive again.

During that drive to the Portland Airport on the day I left for Frankfurt I felt sick. Part of me wanted to stop the car, turn around and go home, while the other

half of me wanted nothing more than to be independent. I though of my bruised

reputation and the reception I would receive from my friends having bailed the solo

European adventure I had talked up ever so much. The nausea seemed to suddenly

halt upon reaching the drop-off zone. As I unloaded my backpack from the tail end

of the Blazer my mother who opened a small no-frills box, reveling a gold St.

Christopher necklace, met me as I shut the tailgate. She slid the necklace around my

neck and straightened the medallion so it was facing out. I turned the medal over

and read, “Go Live Life” inscribed on the reverse side. I gave her a hug, shook my

father’s hand and entered the giant sliding doors, making my way inside the

terminal.

I tossed my shirt onto my bright yellow towel and rose to my feet. I slowly

began to sink into the pebble sand of Villefranche Sur Mer. I clasped the St.

Christopher medal in my hand as I surveyed the sea. To my left and to my right I saw

the many beachgoers, some young, some old, some topless, but all of which

appeared in bliss as if Villefranche Sur Mer was heaven. I took a couple steps

forward and further into the sea. I thought of nothing. Peace and serenity we’re all I

felt. I waited until the next wave came ashore and dove in headfirst. I swam out

away from the shore about thirty feet before dipping my head under and bringing it

again out of the water. Treading water, I turned back to face the shore and to admire

the most beautiful place coastal area on the face of the earth. The pastel colors of the

apartments and condominiums meshed with the green foliage of the coastal

vegetation on the hillside above, while below a beautiful teenage girl in a black and

white polka-doted two-piece bikini surveyed the sea, hands placed firmly on her

hips, accentuating her alluring breasts.

I hadn’t read about this place in any guidebook and I certainly had never

heard of Villefranche Sur Mer before that July day. It was as if something had drawn

me to this place—something other than the awe-inspiring scenery and pristine

beach. It felt right. I felt right. This was what I had come to Europe for. This is what I

had come to Europe to experience—life.

Taking a deep breath I dove down with the intentions of swimming ashore.

As I dove down I felt the St. Christopher necklace slide off my neck and over my

head. Instantly, I opened my eyes and saw the silver of chain in the clear water

falling towards the bottom of the seafloor. With one smooth swipe, completely

lacking in hesitance, I snagged the necklace—catching it only on my pinky finger.

Rising to the surface, my fist clinched, I brought the necklace from the water. Taking

my time I examined necklace as if it wasn’t the one that hung from my neck only

seconds prior. I put the necklace back around my neck and, with one hand on the

medallion, swam quickly ashore.

Back on the beach and back on my towel I held the necklace to the sky—the

medallion sparkling in the Mediterranean sun. As I put it back around my neck for a

second time, I couldn’t help but think my lucky grab was more than just luck, that

something divine had occurred. Lying back on the towel I closed my eyes and didn’t

remove my hand from the gold medallion as I fell asleep on the Villefranche Sur Mer

sand.

A Quick Guide to Southeast Asia on the Cheap

Traveling to Southeast Asia can be a life-changing experience. It can also seem very daunting and scary for a backpacker unfamiliar with Asia. For a lot of people, Southeast Asia is the next step for a backpacker, with Europe being the first, or a stopover on the ever-popular round-the-world trips. For those accustom to getting around Europe, booking hotels or hostel and riding trains from city to city, country to country, Southeast Asia can be quite confusing as to where to start, where to go and what to do, where to stay and how to get around. Worry no more. This short guide to traveling Southeast Asia on the cheep will answer the questions that many have about one of the greatest travel destinations on the planet.

Where to Start
This of course can all depend on where you want to go and what you want to see. There are three major air travel hubs into Southeast Asia: Singapore, Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. For those looking to traverse the six countries that make up the area most commonly referred to as Southeast Asia (Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam) each travel hub has it’s positives and negatives.

Singapore – Flying into Singapore is probably the most convenient place of entry. Requiring no visa for American citizens, Singapore offers mainland Southeast Asia to the north and Indonesia and ever-popular Bali to the south. Although Indonesia may be only a few miles from Singapore and accessible as some ports by ferry, the majority of travel Indonesia must be reached by flights. Singapore is good hub for flying to the south. If it’s peninsular Southeast Asia you strive for, Singapore is a great place to start. Comfortable buses, some even with WIFI, connect Singapore with Malaysia and ultimately to what lays ahead in the north. Singapore is also a great starting point to get acclimated. Being a first world country, with a national language of English (among others), Singapore can be the stream in which to wet your feet as it is a microcosm of Asia with it’s melting pot of cultures.

Kuala Lumpur – North of Singapore approximately 10 hours by bus is the metropolis of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, known simply by travelers as ‘KL’. If you want to dive right into the culture shock Southeast Asia can bring, KL is the place to start. It is also Air Asia, the greatest budget airline on the planet’s, hub. From KL, one can connect to every country in Southeast Asia and Eastern Asia via a cheep and comfortable flight, some for as little as 50 $US to Thailand or even further if you book ahead.

Bangkok – Rated one of the best cities to travel in the entire world, Bangkok can be a great starting point to explore Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam if Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia aren’t on your itinerary. From Bangkok one can hop a bus, flight or even the train to many places throughout the subcontinent.

Your budget may also be a deciding factor in where you start. Going from the south to the north one will find the prices getting smaller and smaller. Where the cheapest rooms in Singapore and Malaysia can be five or six dollars, one can seek out rooms costing a little more than two dollars in Laos, Cambodia and even some places in Thailand. This allows for you to get the most expensive part of your journey out of the way first.

How to Get Around?
Getting around Southeast Asia is a piece of cake. It can be sketchy from time to time, but the best advice is just go with it. In the cities your feet are the best means of transportation. Walk until you get lost, pull out your map, locate yourself, and continue on. In major cities like Singapore and Kuala Lumpur, the subway can be quite nice, but in other cities the tuk-tuk will be your friend. Offering dirt cheap rides (again, don’t hesitate to haggle), tuk-tuks or little motorized carts, will be able to take you anywhere you want to go. In some cases you can rent tuk-tuks out for the day. This is especially recommended in Siem Reap, Cambodia to see Angkor Wat, as $10US will get you your own private tuk-tuk for the day.

When it comes to city-to-city or international travel, the buses are the way to go. Many are quite comfortable and nice with air conditioning and even a meal, but some overnight buses can be like sleeping on a bookshelf with a stranger. Still, for $10-$16US, it’s hard to beat the price. Most, if not all, guesthouses will offer transportation. Their all included tickets usually include pickup from the guesthouse and the transportation to get you to the next city. This however, could be in the form of a bus, van, boat or pickup bed—you’ll get there and the adventure is half the fun. You may look at the ticket they give you and wonder, how the hell is this all I need? But you’ll soon realize that you’ll be broken up by destination once you reach various travel hubs. In most cases you’ll be given a sticker that denotes where your final destination is. Don’t lose the sticker! Also try to talk the guesthouse down for the transportation ticket. In many cases you can get the price down at least a couple bucks and if not, don’t feel bad about ducking into the adjacent guesthouse and trying to secure transportation that way.

If you think you’re paying too much for a bus from a guesthouse, get yourself to the bus station, as prices will always be cheaper there for the same trip. Though these wont include all the other sort trips from guesthouse to bus station or from the bus station into town, but it’s worth it for a cheaper price.

In some cases you can also go to travel agencies. Unlike the travel agencies we think of the in the US, these specialize in travel around the country or the surround countries. They can also help with booking boats to islands, elephant treks, or other excursions. Some travel agencies also book private vans to the next city. This can be cost effective only if you’ve banded together with a group of travelers all headed to the same place.

In Thailand the train is also an option. Although it may cost a little more, the ride is very comfortable and is a great way to go from Bangkok to Chang Mai overnight. Just go to the train station and book your trip that way for the cheapest price.

For the more adventurous, the renting of a motobike can be done with nothing more than a deposit. One of the best ways to see Vietnam is to take a motorbike from Hanoi to Saigon or vice versa. They’re also nice for getting around islands like Koh Pangang.

Wanna fly? You’re in luck as Air Asia services all of Southeast Asia. The flights can be very cheap and are very comfortable. You’ll have to pay for baggage and every other luxury, but in most cases the flights aren’t much longer than two or three hours.

Do I Need a Visa?
In most cases no, but there are some countries that require them.
Singapore – No visa required for US
Malaysia – a visa can be acquired at the border and don’t cost anything
Thailand – 15 days if you enter by land and 30 if you enter by air.
Laos – 30 days for about $35US depending on how much the border guard wants.
Cambodia – 30 days for $25-30US. Easily obtained that the border.
Vietnam – visas ARE required and should be obtained at a travel agency for $45US
Burma – visa ARE required but used to offer visa on arrive at Yangon International.
Hong Kong – no visa required for US
China – a heft visa process including an in-depth itinerary and a $150US fee.

Where to Stay?
The most popular backpacker accommodation are guesthouses. Guesthouses are essentially hostels but in most cases you get a little more comfort. Although there are dorm rooms, many of the guesthouses offer dirt cheep single rooms. If you meet fellow travelers along with way, make friends and split the cost of a double room with two beds, as it’ll nearly cut your room cost in half. The rooms aren’t the cleanest and don’t have nearly the amenities (a room I had in Bangkok didn’t even have a wall outlet) but if you want to save money you wont mind. Rooms are usually split into three categories: dorm, fan or air con. It can be an unspeakable relief to have an air conditioner in your room, but it almost doubles the cost of your room. The best advice I can give is to get used to sleeping without an air conditioner and let the fan keep you cool. Also some rooms advertise en suite, which simply means you have a bathroom in your room. Many guesthouses have communal bathrooms and it’s suggested to avoid en suite if you’re looking to save that hard earned cash.

Unlike Europe and the US, the best way to book an accommodation is not on the Internet, as most of the cheaper guesthouses do not have online booking. The ones that do have more expensive prices for the same thing you can find elsewhere. Word of mouth is the best way to discover guesthouses. Talk to other travelers as to where they stayed. Some of then will even admit to staying in a bad place and give you solid advice as to what to avoid. The best way to find a room for the night is to wing it. A Lonely Planet: Southeast Asia on a Shoestring is a vital resource, although you probably wont want to take them up on any guesthouse suggestions as those places hike prices up once they’ve been discovered by LP. When you arrive in a city, flip to the map section of the city you’re in and find where the majority of the guesthouses are. It never fails that the ones listed are only the tip of the guesthouse iceberg. Go from guesthouse to guesthouse until you find the price you want to pay. Don’t think twice about haggling for a cheaper price. Even if you think you’ve got the cheapest price possible, you’ll probably meet a fellow traveler who is staying there for less. Be weary of touts trying to get you back to their guesthouse, as they tend to go back on the original price they offered (especially at Pakbeng where the slowboat stops for the night). This isn’t to say that some of these guesthouse employees are worthy of your time, but rather just be sure you get what you want. If they change their price, always remember that just down the street is another guesthouse that is cheaper than what they offered. Also be weary of tuk-tuk drivers claiming they have a centrally located guesthouse they can take you too. Most are just trying to help out a friend or relative with their guesthouse and you’ll end up miles from the city center.

Banding with other travelers is the best way to get even cheaper rooms. If you have a group of four or more you are likely to get a discount at a guesthouse if you play your bargaining cards right.

Where to Go?
When I was 19 I spend two months backpacking Europe by myself. Before I left I had lists and lists of places I wanted to go and things to see in those places. For example, when I thought of Paris I thought of the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Arc de Triumph, Notre Dame, rock legend Jim Morrison’s grave and Versailles just to name a few. Before I left for Southeast Asia I was asked what it was I wanted to see. I had all these things I wanted to see in Europe and for some places, Cambodia specifically, I only had one thing in particular I wanted to see—Angkor Wat. To some it may seem like there isn’t much to see in Southeast Asia, but that’s far from reality. I’ve broken down there most popular countries and provided a short list of things to see and do in each one. The most important thing is that see what you want to see. Do a little research before you go and find what interests you.

Singapore
-Food; Singapore is a foodie’s wet dream. With cheep eats all around, you’ll never want to miss a meal!
-Little India; a district of central Singapore that can make you ask yourself, ‘this is Singapore right?’
-The Arab Quarter; another district that is uniquely different than any other.
-The Merlion; Singapore most iconic structure may not be much, but the surrounding area, views of the world’s craziest skyscrapers meshed with historic colonial landings is a must.
-Museums; not everyone’s cup of tea, but Singapore offers some great one. Try the Singapore Art Museum, known as SAM.
-Sentosa Island; for the traveler with more cash to spend, it’s home to Universal Studios and other amusement parks.
-The Singapore Flyer; the largest Ferris wheel-like structure in Asia. The views of the city from night are awe-inspiring.

Malaysia
-Kuala Lumpur; home to the world’s third and fourth tallest buildings (for now), a bustling city atmosphere, and a glimpse of what Southeast Asia will look like in the future, with the old ways surrounding.
-Batu Caves; outside of KL are a popular tourist destination, although the statue outside the caves may be more impressive than the caves themselves.
­-The Cameron Highlands; popular with nature lovers, this area south of KL is one of pure beauty and plenty of outdoor activities.
-Melaka; once a Portuguese settlement, Melaka is home to peaceful afternoons, spectacular meals and a bustling night market, all within walking distance.

Thailand
-Bangkok; the city with the most tourist attractions in Southeast Asia you can marvel at the giant reclining gold Buddha at Wat Pho, witness the grandioso palaces, buy any knockoff your heart can imagine on Khao San Road, eat like a king for two dollars and spend a day zipping around on a tuk-tuk for thirty cents.
-Koh Phi Phi; where they filmed the movie The Beach, these two islands could be the most beautiful place on the entire planet.
-Chang Mai; the hub for jungle treks, riding elephants or exploring temples.
-Koh Pangang; where the infamous Full Moon Party takes place. (Not to be missed, backpackers!)

Laos­
-Slowboating down the Mekong; this two day boat ride will make you want to put The Doors on your iPod and lose yourself staring off into the muddy waters.
-Luang Prabang; one of my favorite cities in Southeast Asia, you can explore the surrounding waterfalls, shop at the night market day after day and always find something new, or enjoy the great nightlife (up until 11:30 that is.)
-Vang Vieng; a backpacker must. Tube your life away as you float from bar to bar sipping snake whiskey and bailing off of trapeze swings into the water!
-Si Pan Don (The 4000 Islands); one of the most serene places on the planet where women work in rice patties, little kids bathe in the Mekong river, water buffalo block the dirt paths (as there are no roads on most of the islands), all while smoking four dollar bags of ganja lounging in a bungalow overlooking the river that costs less than $2.50US a night!

Cambodia
-Phnom Phen; a place to shock all your senses, you can baffle yourself looking at palaces, cry your eyes out at The Killing Fields and S-21, eat a tarantula on the street, find anything you ever wanted in the Russian Market, and if you make friends with a tuk-tuk driver you maybe invited to their house for dinner or go clubbing into the wee hours of the night.
-Angkor Wat; the most famous temple in all of Southeast Asia is worth the $20 a day entry fee, though you don’t need to spend much more than a day there.
-Siem Reap; eat your heart out on Pub Street with international cuisine and good drinks, or shop the knockoffs at the market.
-Shinouckville; known by many names, this backpacker taken over beach community on the Gulf of Thailand can be like heaven on earth as you lounge on the beach, eat dollar lobster, get wacky with a pizza from Happy Herb’s, watch a movie in the black market movie theatre, or just party the night away and the numerous beach bars.

Vietnam
-Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon); dodge motorbikes as you eat amazing food, and see relics from the Vietnam War
-Ha Long Bay; one of the most beautiful places on earth.
-Hanoi; rent a motorbike of your own and risk you life on the busy streets as you stop into amazing restaurants, haggle at the market or eat street food that you’ll never forget!

Other Places
-Burma; not an easy place to get into, but well worth the effort if you don’t mind a little paranoia. The nicest people in the entire world and a society void of most Western commodities (even Coke-a-Cola and atms!) and not to mention the amazing temples of Bagon, city of Mandalay and the floating gardens on Inlay Lake. Keep in mind that you do have to fly in and fly out and that a visa may be required.
-Hong Kong; a beautiful modern city with the best skyline view in the world. Not requiring a visa, Hong Kong can be a little taste of China, the food, the people and the endless options for a fun night out! Fly in from Bangkok for the cheapest flight.

Wrap Up
Southeast Asia is full of backpackers and you will inevitably meet someone who is doing the exact same trip you are. Sometimes these people are worth traveling with. As they say, two minds are better than one. Have no fears, Southeast Asia is quite accessible to an English monolingual. Learn a few phrases to make your trip easier, but if not don’t fret, you’ll be fine. Yes many of the countries are third world, but that doesn’t for an instant mean they are dangerous. Have fun. Try new things. Sweat your pores out. You’ll never forget your trip to Southeast Asia and after reading this your fears or concerns should be lessened if not non existent. It’s alright to be a little nervous, as my mother once told me, “If you’re weren't a little scared, you wouldn’t be human.”

Milk

I long not for this world but for the next
I spend my money only on the things I am certain will kill me
I am tired but my heart races and sleep is nothing more than a fantasy
I feel as bloated as the cow my friend overfed while his father vacationed in Hawaii
It ate and ate until the insides burst and became the outsides
But milk is the only thing that eases my mind anymore
I’m more addicted to it than I am you

Eric & Lia

We found the joint they rolled, the one that fell down between their bed. They scored some from a guy in Koh Tao and brought it with them to Phi Phi. We get stoned and they tell me about how they met in China at a language submersion school. For the first three months they only spoke Mandarin to each other. A week from now he'll be back in Berkley and she'll be back in Jersey.

I tell them a story about a man who was sent to space to live on a space station for twenty years free of earth contact. The space program created him an android that looked identical to his wife—a women he loved dearly. The android was programmed with an advanced artificial intelligence. It had all the qualities he loved in his wife and none of the one he hated. Several years they lived together before the man realized it wasn’t his wife he had been in love with but the android. In desperation he lit the space station afire, triggering the release of the escape pod that would take him back to his wife. When the pod entered earth’s atmosphere and crashed into the ocean a retrieval team took little time getting him to safety. Once debriefed and let free he went to see his wife. When she told him that she wasn’t in love with him anymore but rather in love with the android the space program had provided her upon his absence he told her about the people he killed to see her and how it was only a matter of time before they found out what he had done. She says she never wants to see him again, that she’s happy with what she’s got. The story ends with the man being escorted from his own house by an android that look and sounds identical to him.


She wipes a tear from her eye before excusing herself. I can hear her crying in the bathroom over the wiz of the fan. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without the girl,” he says.

At the Sunshine Guesthouse

In Phuket there stayed a deaf backpacker in my guesthouse. He was German I think. It was hard to tell. When he first arrived I saw him arguing with a tuk-tuk driver over the fare. He tossed his hands about and threw a tantrum, his eyes watering in frustration. Though he would smile when we passed in lobby, he never made an attempt to communicate. In the human evenings he shuffled through images of great Thai and Chinese temples, replaying video after video, each one of him and a group of deaf children, all with smiles and the hand sign for ‘I love you.” But one night, the man didn’t come back. Someone from the consulate collected his belongings the next morning. In broken, English the proprietor told me, “sneaker wave.” I imagine he was squaring up a photo, back to the ocean when it took him. The next night two English girls checked into the dorms; one slept in the same bed he did. I told her the story but I don’t know how she took it. She didn’t know him like I did.

Holiday in Cambodia

In Phnom Phen a women on the street offered me an hour with her infant daughter. The day before a man handed her a hundred dollar bill. I told myself he was doing it so she wouldn’t be out her today. I don’t see anything wrong with lying to myself.

JJ's

One night she couldn’t take the noise anymore. When she was a girl, before the backpackers found it, before it was Sihanoukville it was quite. It wasn’t full of techno and beach bars. Six years ago an English guy raped her daughter and left the country before they could catch him. It was the only time she was thankful the Khmer Rouge took her husband. She didn’t know what he would have done.

I was there the night she showed up at JJ’s. It was twenty-five cent beer night. The September crowds of budget travelers started fights, spilled drinks and danced topless on the bar. She sat near the door, putting all her weight on the balls of her feet. At one point an American asked her for a dance on a dare. When she didn’t respond he told her to fuck herself.

She sat quietly for nearly an hour until she caught herself tapping her toe to the beat. Only early mornings, when the passed out are sound asleep and the dubstep is no more she sleeps. It was often she looked in to the blue eyes of her grandson and cursed his existence.